Doughnuts with chocolate sauce

There are two generations in this world. Those that remember life before the Simpsons, and those that cannot. I fall into the former category (just). I can remember the first episode screening in Australia. My Mum was being released from hospital from a long stay for a fairly decent back injury.

The drive home was excruciating. For us kids. Though I'm sure it wasn't fun for Mum either, slipped disk and all. I'm certain, to this day, that Dad was driving as slow as possible to avoid the possibility of another cartoon being worked into our viewing schedule. Losing battle if I ever saw one.

It's now such an integral part of our lives we speak a new language. If anyone says "Hello" in everyday conversation, my sister and I will launch into "My name is Mr Burns, I believe you have a letter for me...". My friend Merran and I were waiting for a tram one day, saw one approaching and began walking out to hail it down. We looked up again and it was gone: (Wiggum voice) "Oh my god. It's a ghost tram!"

So every time I see doughnuts, I start mumbling "Mmmmmmmmm". Naturally, I consider spreading them in rich creamery butter. This time a resisted. Chocolate sauce was the alternative.

This recipe is adapted from a Phillipa Sibley doughnut recipe in PS Desserts. If you're thinking of buying one cookbook for desserts, make this it. She's so thorough and have some great images for newbies learning to bake. All the basics are covered and are made so approachable. Go get it.

These little crackers are quite simple to whip up. The only bummer is using a giant vat of oil for frying. I'll be honest - I saved the oil and intend on making a second batch for our engagement party. I can't see anyone objecting when these are the outcome.

Recently, people have expressed fear of cooking with two ingredients: gelatine and yeast. Both are simple, but let me wax lyrical about yeast for a while (sexy, ya?). Yeast is a living thing and should be treated as such. The only rule you need to remember is it hates extremes, both hot and cold. Boiling water will kill it and cold water will not allow it to activate. It goes crazy on sugar, like all us animals do. And it needs a little time to get going, like when we wake up in the morning.

So I apologise to all those readers that are maybe in the third generation I haven't mentioned. Those of whom we dare not speak their name. The young 'uns that don't understand the Simpsons and it's place in our society. It's like Woodstock (or so I've been told): unless you were there when it happened, when it all started, it just doesn't make sense. I can kind of understand: an exceptionally stupid yellow family faced with implausible dilemmas each week. But then I ask myself, what's not to love? Lean into it guys and you'll begin to love it for what it is: cheap, cheap laughs. That's what I'm all about.

Ingredients

300g flour
200ml milk
50g caster sugar
60g butter
1 sachet of dried yeast
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
1 litre oil
1/2 cup caster sugar
1 tsp cinnamon

Heat the milk and butter over low heat. Remove from heat and pour into a bowl. Once slightly cooler, add the yeast and stir to combine. Leave for the yeast to activate and get a little bit frothy.

Whisk the eggs and yolk in a bowl with the milk mixture. In a large bowl, combine the flour and sugar and add the egg mix. Mix in an electric mixture with the paddle for around 2 minutes. Leave to stand for around 1 hour.

Heat the oil in a large saucepan until a cube of bread dropped in the oil turns brown in around 20 seconds. Drop tablespoons of the dough into the hot oil and fry until a darkish golden brown. Don't overcrowd the pan or you'll have a fire on your hands. Drain on a rack.

Mix the caster sugar and cinnamon in a deep bowl. Pop in around 6 doughnuts at a time and shake the bowl to coat in sugar.

Chocolate sauce

1 cup dark chocolate pieces (I used Lindt 70% chocolate)
1/2 cup cream
1/4 cup caster sugar
50g butter

Heat all ingredients over a low heat in a saucepan. Stir regularly. Once chocolate has mostly melted, remove from heat and continue to stir occasionally until completely smooth. Pour into a small bowl and serve with the doughnuts.

Beetroot dip

I'm that girl at every party that manages to spill a drink and break a glass. I once knocked over my glass of red wine and spilled it down the back of a woman wearing white cashmere. She was not amused.

I'm a klutz from way back. I fall over, spill crumbs down my top (sexy, I know) and managed to walk out of the house with toothpaste all over me every day without fail. 15 minutes before an important meeting with a director at work the other day, I sprayed soup all over my top.

Which is why this dip is my version of tempting fate. It's a deep pink in colour and liable to stain our carpets if I just look at it funny.

Real deal spaghetti bolognese

For many, many years (read: until 2 years ago), I thought the saying was "For all intensive purposes". Like the purposes were super intense and needed to be monitored in, say, a hospital. It wasn't until I read it in print one day and realised for all those years I'd been saying it wrong. Thankfully I never fully enunciate my words and speak at the speed of lightning, so hopefully no one noticed. And then I went and told the story...

I have countless examples where I thought I knew something to be an absolute truth. Like thinking CCs was just a clever brand name (and didn't stand for corn chips). Or when I totally believed my friend when he told me the words to Cold Chisel's Cheap Wine were "Cheap wine and a female goat." Uh huh. I'm that lady.

Panfried chicken with capers and sage

So it was my Mumsy's special day on the weekend. I know you all think you have the best Mum in the world, but you'd be wrong. Who's Mum spends the weekend with you at the beach and indulges in your secret desire to ride a giant lawnmower? Mine, that's who.

I made the trek to Portarlington this weekend to hang out with my Mumsy. A bunch of beautiful flowers and a basket of goodies in hand, I was ready to head off. Until I noticed a seemingly flat tire on the car. Freaking out, I drove to a series of friends' houses for help, all of whom were out. Eventually I ended up at a servo and asked a kind gentleman if, in his opinion, my tire was flat.

Aromatic lamb shank curry

I'm jumping the gun. Like, so high. I'm catapulting over the gun, 1km skyward through the clouds with a nice soft landing in a pillow factory. This week we had about 5 days over 20ºC. A couple around 25ºC. It was weather for tacos, grilled fish and salad, maybe a gelati. And like the topsy-turvy fool that I am, I went an bought lamb shanks.

It was around the time I had the sniffles, and just felt like some comforting. Comfort food for me does not come in the form of mac and cheese or scalloped potatoes or other such stodge (that, let's be serious, I'd love any other day of the week). Nope, when I'm feeling poorly, it's spicy food all the way.

Side bar: did you know what my all time favourite pasta is? Bucatini amatriciana. And it's not because of the name (mostly). It's a spicy tomato based sauce with porky bits of guanciale (that's cured pork cheek, fellas), the holey spaghetti known as bucatini and grated pecorino on top. BUT. It's all about the spice for me. In fact, I'm not even sure the spice is authentic. I know for sure it's not authentic the way I make it: with a big heaping spoon of sambal oelek (basically pure, unadulterated chilli).

Chicken ribs with lemony pea puree

So Matt and I have finally decided the month to hold our engagement party: June. Seriously, this party is more complex than the wedding itself. I've almost planned a menu and today, you get to see the fruits/ribs of my labour.

This is one addition that Matty can get behind. Fried chicken. I whipped these up one Saturday afternoon. They were arranged artfully on the bamboo platter, designed to be nibbled on over a glass of bubbles, a cute napkin in hand. Sexy fried food doesn't happen too often, but I thought I'd nailed the genre.

Then we tried one. So good. Maybe too good. We stood over the platter, shovelling ribs and purée into our gobs as like we hadn't eaten for months. Dead unsexy.

These ribs are an absolute cinch to make. The most complex part is frenching the rib. Before you start making out with a piece of chicken, frenching is a culinary term used to describe the trimming of a bone. I'm not making this any less erotic, am I?

The pea purée is a gorgeous, simple dip for the ribs. It takes a little over 4 minutes to whip up - all while the chicken is frying. Make sure you taste the dip before serving - it needs plenty of lemon juice to elevate it from baby food to sexy, sexy purée.

It takes a lot to get included on my engagement party menu. The delicate balance is hard to achieve: easy to eat standing up, simple to whip up in minutes but still visually appealing. Being delicious goes unsaid.

So my problem with my engagement party menu? I have almost nothing vegetarian. That would be OK, but my meat dishes are exceptionally meaty. I will never want for protein in this lifetime. Every restaurant or bar we visit, I'm scoping out veggie based dishes, but each time I spy a good one I think to myself "Oh, this would be awesome with bacon". But then, really, what would be improved with bacon? And, ladies and gentlemen, that's about as philosophical as I get.

Ingredients

20 chicken ribs
1/2 cup cornflour
3 tbsp chilli powder (or your favourite spice mix)
2 cups peas
1/4 cup water
2 tbsp olive oil
grated rind of 1/2 lemon
Juice from 1 lemon

Take a small sharp knife and trim one end of the chicken ribs to about half way up the bone.

Heat the oil over a high heat. Drop a cube of bread in - the oil is hot enough if it sizzles and brown in 20 seconds.

Combine the flour and spice mix. Season as required. Coat the chicken ribs in the flour mixture. Drop the ribs in the hot oil and fry until golden brown. Drain on a baking rack.

To make the pea purée, bring a small saucepan of water to the boil and and the peas. Boil for around 2 minutes, drain and rinse in cold water until the peas are cold. Add to the bowl if a food processor with the rind, juice, water, oil, salt and pepper. Blend briefly until combined but still chunky.

To serve, spread the pea purée over your platter. Place ribs on top and squeeze some lemon juice over the top.

Beetroot and kale chippies

My name's Emma and I'm a chipaholic. Some families grow up eating popcorn or sweets while watching movies. Other will have chopped up fruit (booooooring) while some would indulge in homemade cookies. Not my family. It was salt and vinegar chips. All. The. Way. Crinkle cut or thins, it no matter. Though Sarah would argue Light and Tangy flavoured wins (and I'm happy to concede if she's buying) to me, the sharp and salty goodness of the S'n'V.

Not too long ago, I would have scoffed at the suggestion of an alternative to potato chips. Part of me still doesn't want to believe it: a salty snack that's not a total carb/fat fest but still delicious. Not that there's anything wrong with a carb and/or fat fest. I'm the least qualified person to judge in the trial of diet missteps.